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[ June 28th, 2006 | 8:15pm ] |
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Friends Only!
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[ June 26th, 2006 | 8:09pm ] |
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mood |
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Mixed |
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music |
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I'm With You - Avril Lavine |
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I am so annoyed/aggravated/pissed off/hurt. Hurt most of all, though. I have had it with Brendan’s parents. They said he has to be move out by Friday, this Friday. They have been wanting him to pay rent because that’s what his step dad had to do when he was Brendan’s age. Um okay, that is you and what your parents did and he just got out of high school and only has a part time job and needs to pay his car insurance. So, they have been him about that and today his mom asked if he had an apartment yet and he said no and he asked if he could wait till he started his new job, which is next week, to pay her everything that he owed her because that job pays like 12 dollars an hour, but she said no ‘cause it was, “too late.” Come one! He is your son! Give him a chance. You already have him living in the basement. So, he is going to live with this friend Tyler till he can figure something else out. But, he doesn’t really want to do that because he has to sleep on the couch and he said it’s pretty cramped. But, here is what really sent me over the edge. Apparently Brendan’s step dad called me a hoochy mama while Brendan and him were arguing. And I know Brendan wouldn’t lie about that. This was his step dad’s exact words, “Your always over you hoochy moma girlfriends house.” Whoa! I didn’t even know what to say when Brendan told me. I don’t plan on going over his house because I know I will say something so I’m just going to write his step dad and put it in their mail. Brendan has to move out by Friday so it doesn’t matter anyway. Now, if Brendan ends up staying then I wont send it because I don’t want Brendan to get in trouble. But here is what I am planning to say to him:
I’m not trying to be rude with all I am about to say. Brendan told me that you called me a “hoochy mama” Monday during your argument. Now, usually I don’t let things like that get to me but I’m sorry, I didn’t do anything to deserve to be called that. I’m sorry that you are having a rough time with Brendan but that’s not my fault. I’ve done nothing but try and help Brendan. And I’ve said to him plenty of times that he should spend more time at home but I can’t make him do anything. If you guys want to hate me for that then fine, but I really didn’t appreciate that, I never did anything to you guys. Guess that’s it. Bye.
Ohhhh, I am so pissed! I thought writing it out would help me get some anger out but it only made me more angry. I just don’t understand. I could have cried when Brendan told me that. And, it’s not like I am close to his step dad but the fact that I never did anything to deserve that really bothers me. And he can’t move in here, just because. And my mom keeps saying that I should talk to him about moving down with his real did in Georgia. That’s what he was going to do originally but decided now to. His dad said he saw a college he really liked. And I feel bad because one of the reasons he stayed because of me and now I feel like this is all my fault that all of this is happening ‘cause he could have been in Georgia, not going through all of this. I know it was his decision but…I don’t know, I can’t help but feel that way. And I have talked to Brendan about maybe doing that and he said he didn’t want to. My mom said to say something again. I am trying not to be selfish about it because that is the last thing I want. I don’t know what I would do if he would have to move that far away. But on the other hand, I want him to be happy and have a good place to live and have a family environment. I don’t understand his parents. Don’t they understand that he is just out of high school and is still trying to save his money! I…I don’t understand. I am so heart broken over this. He never did anything to deserve to be treated like this and it kills me to see him treated like this. My mom said I should say something to Mike asking if there would be anyone interested in giving him room and board. I dunno about that. I would feel weird asking that. Sigh. Please, those of who believe in praying, pray for him. That everything works out. Sigh. : /
Anyway. Creation was canceled so that means no going up there with Karli on Friday. :( I was really looking forward to that. Oh well, maybe the two of us will do something. Or maybe Karli, Beth, and me. Last time Beth asked why she wasn’t invited when Karli and I hung out so maybe the three of us will do something. Dunno.
That’s all for now.
: /
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[ June 25th, 2006 | 11:50pm ] |
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mood |
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...ehh |
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music |
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Jesus Take The Wheel - Carrie Underwood |
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Well, not eating pays off. So far I lost about 7 pounds. Is it healthy? No. But I really want this before going to the beach and Trinidad. And it works. And I am working out too. Witch is hard because I have nothing in my system, but oh well. I mean, I eat but not a lot. Like, last week I think I had two things to eat. And I am drinking nothing but water, very little juices. No more soda. I never really drank much to begin with but now it’s down to none. But, it’s all paying off. It’s so irritating, though, because Brendan eats so much and doesn’t gain a pound and I on the other hand smell a brownie and gain 5 pounds. - : / It’s just not fair.
Anyway. Brendan and I are doing well. It’s pretty much same old same old. I love him so much, though. July 11 will be eight months. :) But yeah, there’s nothing really new going on there.
Hmm, what else. I got some extra hours this week. Only two days but they are from 9-5 and usually I only work 5-9 two days a week. I know, I need a new job. They are trying to give me more hours, though. Mornings/afternoons aren’t usually that bad during the week ‘cause everyone is at work. I was supposed to go to RACC from 8AM-2PM but I had to e-mail the lady and say that I couldn’t, at the last minute, 'cause I work from 9-5. - : / Not a good first impression but, oh well. What are they gonna do, kick me out? Psht.
This week is Creation but I can’t go. For a couple of reasons. Number one, I forgot. Number two, because of me forgetting I then had to work and didn’t have time to ask off. Number three, I wasn’t sure if I was aloud to because I graduated high school and usually after to graduate high school you can’t participate in too much with the youth group. But, Karli is going up on Friday so I am going to go up with her, that is if she goes. She said she would call me this week and let me know. I’m excited. I’ve never been to Creation.
So yeah, that’s all I got. I need to head to bed ‘cause I have to get up early tomorrow. - : / Nite.
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[ June 22nd, 2006 | 12:06am ] |
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I’m through with food. Done. No more. Don’t want it. The end!
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[ June 19th, 2006 | 12:53am ] |
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I miss Floyd so much! It’s so weird without him. Last night was the first night I didn’t cry myself to sleep, only because I was so tired. When I come home I look in the Family Room on his bed and he isn’t there. It’s just so, so weird. When my cell phone beeps when I get a text I jump to get it because it used to scare him but then I realize he isn’t there, and before we go anywhere I usually ask if they had water so I’ll be like, “Do they have water? I mean, does he have water,” forgetting that it’s just Sydney, and when I call Sydney inside I’ll call him in and then go to call Floyd in and I’ll have to stop myself. I miss him so much. I have his collar tide to my bed; I hold it when I sleep. I was crying so hard I almost threw up. Again, I don’t mean to sound like a little kid but, he was my best friend. Whenever I would cry he would be right by my side and I would cry on him. Sydney comes up to you when you cry too but then he gets scared because he thinks he did something wrong so he runs upstairs. It’s so hard. I keep finding pictures of him and it breaks my heart. I keep thinking, “What if he was going to get better. What if we didn’t give him the chance/time?” He was supposed to get better! I need to stop.
Moving on. I got my car yesterday. I got the 2002 Silver Jetta. She is so freakin’ beautiful, I love it. Eeek!
My parents are driving me insane! Tonight I wanted to go down to Brendan’s to go in the pool, and this was around 10:00pm. My mom didn’t really want me to go. She was like, “I know what happens in the pool.” What the heck! Thanks for having faith in me. Seriously. And they said to be home by 11:30 and usually it’s 12. I was like, what the heck. They baby me so much and I can’t stand it. They change the times around all the time. And it’s summer time! Let me have some fun. And I’m right down the roads at Brendan’s, a minute away, what is going to happen to me?! We were fighting back and forth and then I walked away and my mom was like, “Say one more word and you won’t go down at all!” I was like, “I don’t care!” And goes, “Oh, that was one more word you are staying here. Don’t even think about leaving!” Okay, I am 19 here mom, you talk like that to a 5 year old. Don’t pull that “one more time” shit on me! So Brendan and I just sat in the living room and talked, after I cooled off. Later I was talking to my dad and he asked that I be in by 10:30 this week since he is going to be away but that Brendan can stay over at our house later than that. Why 10:30? I’m not going to be able to protect mom if something happens. What is the purpose of that? So I said to him, “Should I just start wearing dippers again?” And he was like, “Why does it make you so mad that you have to be in at 11 or 11:30?” And I told him. Number one, its summer and number two, I am right down the street. Now, I can understand if I was at a party or something but even then, you can’t protect me from everything. You need to be able to trust me that I can make my own decisions. I’m not stupid. And he was like, “Well, why don’t we set a schedule. Monday-Thursday you be home at 11:30.” What! A schedule! Are you kidding me? IT IS SUMMER! Let me live a little bit, whether it be a half hour more or 5 hours more, whatever, but come on! That is just bull shit! And I said that, in the nicest possible way. But there is just no way in getting through to them. They pull that, “You can talk to us about anything. If you want to discuss something that you don’t agree with we can talk it out.” Bull shit! All you do is just try and tell me why you guys are right and why I am so wrong. I got a new car and now I can’t even go anywhere with it cause I have to be home at the baby time. And they are so worried about the sex issue. Just to let ya know mom and dad, bringing me home a half hour earlier wont do anything even if I was planning on having sex. And sex in the pool with his parents home. Can you say tacky! And why the hell do they think I am going go do anything! Am I that horrible of a child? Seriously. They are just so over protective. My sister even agrees to that. She is 26. She said to be, “Yeah, they were never that strict with me.” And she has said something to my mom before. And what I don’t understand is they want be to be responsible and have responsibility but how can I if you wont let me do anything to choose to be responsible. No wonder I am so scared to move on, they protect me so much. But the more they try and protect me the more I am just going to want to do it. I am so sick of this. I am not a child anymore and I don’t want to be treated like one. Ohhhh great. Now I am all nice and stressed out before bed. How wonderful.
I’m off to try and fall a sleep. Nite.
Floyd. My buddy.
RIP
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[ June 14th, 2006 | 3:41pm ] |
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Well, we had to put Floyd down today. Brendan and I were on the way to the Museum when I got a phone call from my dad. I think that was the first time I ever heard my dad cry. I knew something was wrong with Floyd. He said I should come home ‘cause we needed to put Floyd down. He said Floyd had been crying/barking for two hours straight. So, we took him to the vet and we laid him on the floor on his bed. She told us what she was going to do. My mom said she would stay while they put him down but I wanted to stay too, my dad left during the middle. They shaved a little spot on his arm then stuck the needle in. He calmed down and then she told us that his heart had stopped. I was a mess, we all were. I never saw my dad like that. My mom and I stayed in there after the vet left just to say our goodbyes. I took some fur. When I got home I just laid in bed and cried some more. He was such a good dog. I hope our other dog Sydney will be okay. It’s really hard to believe that he is gone. It’s weird; I can still hear his little whimpers as if he is still downstairs. I feel like a kid saying this but, I almost felt like he would be here forever. 13 years is a long time for a Golden Retriever. Okay. I need to stop before the water works start again.
6-14-06 – RIP Floyd. I miss you and I'll never forget you.
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[ June 14th, 2006 | 12:23am ] |
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Time for an update!
I’ve got good news and bad news. So, let’s start with the good. I am getting a car this week! :) I am so happy. I test drove a few cars this week. The first one was a 2000 Blue Jetta. The only thing there was that the transmission was going. The guy said one time while going up the hill it stalled. He said that they would get it replaced for free. My dad was a little “ehh” about that. I fell in love with the car. But I knew I couldn’t just go for the first car I saw. We saw another car, I forget what kind, it was a 2005. And it was 11,000-something for only a 2005 and it was in good condition. I just wasn’t crazy over the style which is probably why I can’t remember the type of car. But today we went to Visions to check out their used cars and that is where I found my baby. I test drove a 2004 Silver Jetta. We were looking for something under 10,000 for a first car and this one was 14,000-something but my dad really likes it because it will last me a lot longer because it isn’t too old of a car and it has new tires and breaks. And the warranty last about another two years or so. So yeah, I think that is the one we are looking at. Ugh, she was so beautiful. And I have a lot of money in my bank account because I have been saving and I got $595 from my graduation party. So that helped out a lot. Now I can put more money down and lessen my monthly payments. We’re probably going to call the guy tomorrow if he doesn’t call us; at least that’s what my dad said.
Now onto the bad news. Floyd, one of our dogs isn’t doing too well. Off and one he has been having seizures but this past week he had two in two days and he was getting really week. So, my parents called the vet and they said they don’t think it is a brain tumor because if it was that there would be other signs that he is not showing. Therefore they think it is epilepsy so they put him on meds and they said that they would make him act different until his body go used to them and he may possibly have more seizures then before. So now he can’t walk. When he first started taking them he could get up on his own and walk but he was wobbly. Then he would need help up and after walking for about 5-10 min he would just fall because he got so week. Now, he needs my dad to pick him up and carry him outside and hold him up while he goes to the bathroom. During the day/night he will nap for about two hours then wake up and cry so now someone has to sleep downstairs with him because he doesn’t like to lie for too long or he gets stiff. So my poor dad hasn’t gotten much sleep because he has to be that person ‘cause he is the only one who can lift him. Last night my mom and I slept downstairs but we couldn’t get him up so we had to get my dad anyway. Tonight my mom and dad are sleeping downstairs. We called the vet today but there is only two doctors there and both of them were off today, how stupid is that. The should have one in. So, we have to call them back tomorrow. We either have to get him new meds if there are any or just take him off of them and not put him on anything else and see what happens. And the last option, which I don’t even want to think about, is putting him to sleep. I have a feeling that it’s going to be the last one. As much as we want to keep him around, it’s not fair to him. So, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. : /
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[ June 7th, 2006 | 1:04am ] |
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Oh my gosh it’s over! I am not longer part of Exeter Senior High School. That makes me so sad. Tonight went by so fast. I feel so cold inside and scared inside. I am not ready for college in the fall. It just doesn’t seem like it is happening. I still feel like I should be going to high school next year. I’m almost like beyond tears. I just can’t get it in my head that it is over. It is truly over. Okay, I need to stop before the water works start again. Brendan and I might go in to school tomorrow to get our diplomas so I’ll stop by a few teachers rooms.
Oh yeah! I got to meet Brendan’s real dad! He is such a sweet heart. He doesn’t have to leave for the air port till 3 tomorrow so us three are going to hang out. I’m excited. :)
Okay. I’m done. I’m tired. Nite.
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[ June 6th, 2006 | 4:24pm ] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Graduation Song - Vitamin C |
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Graduation time is in two hours. I am not ready for this. - :( I don’t want to leave. I love high school. Where did time go, seriously? I remember when my sister graduated from the same school about six years ago I was thinking, “I will never make it in that huge building.” And now, now I’m leaving. Now I know why people always said to me, “You are so lucky to be in high school. Enjoy it while you can.” I remember my first year of high school. It seriously seems like just yesterday. I am so speechless right now. I feel so weird. I still feel like I am coming back next year. It feel like it's not goodbye. It can't be. I’m not ready for college. I am scared to be honest. Terrified. I WANT TO GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL! High school felt like my life, ya know? I could go for another two years if it was possible. I know I’ll feel the same way about college when I leave but there was just something about high school. And I am going to miss Mrs. Owens so much. She was like a sister to me. We will meet up over the summer for lunch and stuff but still, it won’t ever be the same. Nothing will ever be the same. Everyone is moving there own separate ways. Tonight is our last night for all of us to be together. Here come the tears, and I’m sure the Graduation song by Vitamin C doesn’t help. I’m going to miss Exeter Senior High School. I’m done.
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[ June 4th, 2006 | 10:24pm ] |
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HOLY CRAP I GRADUATE IN TWO DAYS! I am so not ready for this. : / I’m going to miss high school so much. I am going to miss everyone. We’ve been with each other for so long and now we’re all going our separate ways, it’s so weird.
Tomorrow seniors don’t have to go in till 9 and then we go to the Sovereign Center to practice for graduation. Then we get back around 1:30-ish, I think. I’m not really sure to be honest.
Tomorrow night is the Baccalaureate service at 7:30pm. And on Friday I was asked to speak at the service. I don’t have to make anything up they give me something to read off of. I could have read a verse or could do this thing where I say a line and the audience responds, which is what I am doing. I read a line and the audience responds and so on and so on. I only say about 5 lines as does the audience. So, that shouldn’t be too bad. I guess the class president chose me because they know I am involved in the church and then the class adviser Mrs. Robertson asked me and two guys to do it. I didn’t want to; I kind of said no but the guys said yes so she was like, “I guess that means you will to.” And, I could feel God pushing me to do it so I said yes. So yeah, that’s tomorrow night. I’m not nervous now, who knows how I will be tomorrow.
Then Tuesday is GRADUATION! Eeeek! Then June 10th is my graduation party. I am really excited for that! And then I have one to go to on the 11th. That I am excited for but not graduation. I mean, I am excited but I’m just not ready for it. It hasn’t hit me yet that I am graduating. Oh! And I get to meet Brendan's read dad. He lives in Georgia. I have talked to him on the phone before but I have never met him before so I am pretty excited for that. - :) And then it’s off to college. I am going to miss high school so much!
Okay, even though I get to sleep in late tomorrow I’m going to head off to bed. Nite!
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[ May 24th, 2006 | 4:18pm ] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood |
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Oh wow it’s been an emotional few days. I don’t even know where to start. I guess I’ll start with Sunday night. Brendan got done work at 7 and he came over right after work. We took a walk with one of my dogs and then we went down to his house to take his dog for a walk, just to get out of the house. So, he told his mom that he was going to take Tony for a walk. That is her dog and I think she said it was 800dollars, which is a lot, and that should would appreciate if he would ask her, not tell her, that he is taking him for a walk. Brendan then started to argue with her and I just rolled my eyes because that was just going to make it worse. So, she just told us to go. So, when we got back his step dad told him to come into the kitchen, I knew that wasn’t good. So, then Heather asked if we could talk outside. We somewhat talked things out. Apparently someone read my journal that I was saying something bad about her and I told her I never said anything bad. I wrote what was going on and that I didn’t understand why she was acting the way she was and I wrote about how she told Brendan that his ex called in front of me and how I thought she just did that to make me mad. She told me she didn’t mean anything by it and I said okay and that I wasn’t even mad about that anymore. And she said that we couldn’t be friends. We never really were but I guess she was just letting me know. And I do agree with that because if something was to happen between Brendan and I and Heather and I were friends, that would be kind of hard, ya know? But, we talk now so that’s good. But then Brendan came out after he was done fighting with this step dad and asked if we could go and Heather goes, “You can’t always run from your problems.” Then their mom came out and she was all upset. I don’t even remember what all was said but him and his mom were fighting and then Heather said something and Brendan started to yell at Heather and saying that she needed to butt out and that he didn’t ask for her opinion and she started crying saying that he has changed so much and that he used to tell her everything and that really upset me because I have noticed them not being as close. I felt so bad for her. Then Brendan just walked off. Then I started bawling because I felt like all of this was my fault because he is always with me. And his parents were arguing with him because he only has 15 community hours done and he needs 30 and they are due June 1st! And when I rolled my eyes when Brendan started to fight with his mom about the whole dog thing his mom thought that was toward her so I had to clear that up. I was like, “I am so sorry, that was not directed toward you at all.” I felt so bad. She was fine though. I was going to go home but they told me to come inside for a bit, so I did. His mom then gave me a big hug. That made me feel good. His mom and step dad both talked to me before I left. Brendan really needs to get his ass moving and I’m not sure how to help him and that is killing me. I left around 9:45 and he still wasn’t home. I wasn’t home for more than 2 minutes and Brendan was knocking at the door. We talked for a little bit and then I took him home. He didn’t want to go home but I made him. I’m not sure if any of this made any sense. It was such a dramatic knight. Oh yeah. And to make one thing clear. I know who made up that shit and told Heather because you are the only one who read my journal and talks to her, so get your facts straight next time.
I am so through with high school drama. I will miss high school like crazy but not all of this. I hate girls. Seriously.
Oh just wait, I have more drama for ya. Yesterday at the end of the say in period 7 Brendan was in Mrs. Owens’s room [she is where we go to take test or to study] and he called his real dad just to check up with things and his dad was yelling at him because he doesn’t have his community house done. So, that upset Brendan and what does he do to make it better, bunches a wall. Smart. So, I was in Mrs. Owens during period 8 and he came down then too. So, we were talking and I asked him what was wrong and he told me. Then I said, “Brendan, until you get those hours done we are on a break.” I can’t even describe the look that he gave me. He walked out of the room and didn’t come back. I started to cry because I…I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to help him. When I got home he called and he was crying. He was a mess. He was like, “Why are you doing this to me.” I was like, “Brendan, you are doing this to yourself!” I could barely understand what he was saying because he was crying so hard. So, I was just like, “Okay, fine no break but you must promise me that you will get the hours done and stop slacking!” The animal shelter supposedly will sign you off on all of your hours and then you can just do them over the summer. Yeah, in a way that is cheating but that is the only option he has left. And he better hope that they do, do that. Ugh. Later that night his real dad called and we talked for a little bit. I haven’t met his real dad yet, I will on graduation day. I’m excited for that.
So yeah, it’s been an emotional week. I’m hoping it can only get better. *Crosses fingers*
Well, that’s about it. Bye for now.
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[ May 16th, 2006 | 4:03pm ] |
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mood |
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Empty |
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music |
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Letting Go - Jeremy Camp |
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Last night was absolutely horrible! I have a huge fight with my parents. It was all a build up from Sunday. I don’t really want to say details because it is personal. I was crying so hard I was choking. I couldn’t breath. I was supposed to pick Brendan up but my mom said I couldn’t, not after that argument. I guess she figured I wouldn’t come home. My dad said he would drive but I didn’t want up. So I called Giant [where Brendan works]. I told him I couldn’t come get him. He asked what was wrong and I just lost it and started bawling. I wanted so bad not to cry but I couldn’t hold it in. I didn’t want to say anything then so I told him I would tell him later. He clocked out of work and ran home and was home in 5 min and it usually takes him about 15 min to get there if he has to walk. I called Mike after I talked to Brendan. Mike knows everything about me and I go to him when I need to talk and last night was…just horrible. I was sobbing on the phone. He could barely understand me. Talking to him just seems to salve everything. Well, not solve but when I’m not thinking straight he helps me to and he helps show me the light. I told him I wanted to run away, which I did. And of course he advised me not to. I talked to him for about 20 min. Before we hung up we prayed, well he did, I just bawled the whole time. Then he said in such a sincere voice, “Mandi, I love you!” I do not know where I would be with out this man. After we hung up I just cried myself to sleep. I woke up around 1:30 and I just kept thinking about what happened so I left around 2. I just walked around. I was going to go down to Brendan’s but I didn’t. I walked around then just sat, cried some more, and just thought about stuff. I didn’t want to go back but I didn’t want to cause a huge ordeal, having the cops out looking for me. I didn’t need anymore drama. So, I came back. I think I got home around 3:30-ish. I just couldn’t be in the house anymore. Even thought my parents were a sleep I could just feel the tension, I had to leave. I needed some fresh air. I am so glad I work tonight. I have never been more excited for work in my life! Ugh. I want to go back to ATF so bad. Being at ATF is like going to another world. A world where everything feels right. It’s like we’re in our own little world. I wish it was more than just a weekend. I WANT TO GO BACK! This is the only downer to good trips - Having to come home. My eyes burn from crying, I am tired, I just want to disappear. I feel so broken inside, torn up. But I know that God has this in all in control. I’m doing my best to keep that in mind. He will only have me grow and learn from this. Ugh. : /
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[ May 14th, 2006 | 12:33pm ] |
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What a weekend. ATF was amazing. They had such good bands there. Delirious was there, Pillar, and JEREMY CAMP was there! I had no idea he was going to be there. I have always wanted to see him in concert. It was amazing. He changed, though. His hair is longer and he got, not chubby but bulkier. He is still gorgeous of course. It was amazing. Mike had to leave early Saturday after lunch. He had to do something at church. Something like a wedding. He didn’t really explain it well. I was kind of disappointed but on well. Larry was there and Rachel’s mom and Tomo. Tomo is from Japan and he is coming here for school. He is cool. Tomo and Rachel’s mom drove Mike’s car home and Larry drove the church van home. It’s sad, though. This might have been my last ATF. After you graduate high school you can’t really do anything after you graduate. Missions trips you can, I think but I really hope I can go to ATF next year. We’ll see. It was a great weekend. I want to go back.
Today was not a good first day home. I don’t really want to get into it but there just stress between the rents and me. We were going to go to church but that didn’t happen. I’m just going to hide up in my room all day probably. I’m not even going to ask to go down to Brendan’s because that will probably just start an argument and I don’t really want to talk to them. So, it’s going to be a boring day. I cleaned my room and bathroom already. : / And, I am starving but my mom is downstairs and I don’t want to go down there while she is down there. So, yeah.
Well, I’m done. Brendan’s going to be calling soon. Bye!
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[ May 11th, 2006 | 11:24pm ] |
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Time for an update. This month has been so hectic. I have been busy for the past four or five weekends. Last weekend was Prom. Oh my gosh! It was so much fun. At first I thought four hours would be too long but it wasn’t long enough. We got there about a half hour late. Amanda was late picking us up and then we got lost. We ended up taking another girl because her ride was running late and when we got lost she was so bitchy. She was calling all her friends and her dad asking where to go and then bossing Amanda around and telling her where to go and Amanda was already stressing out. And the girl goes, “Can you just take me home and my parents can take me.” Amanda just looked up in her rear view mirror with this pissed off face and said, “No! We are almost there!” What an unthankful bitch! She expected us to drive home which would take about 20 min and then drive all the way back out to the prom. Uh, hell no! But, it was a great time. After prom wasn’t ask good as I thought it would be. Alli ended up ditching us because she “had” to go to a party she was invited to. So, Amanda, Brendan, and I ordered pizza, actually we got it free cause Amanda works at Pizza Hut. We pigged out for a bit and just hung out. I took Brendan home around 1-ish and then Amanda and I watched about a half hour of a movie and then fell a sleep till about 2 and then went up to bed. Ha, it was fun let me tell you. I’m sad it’s all over, though. I took so many pictures. If I can figure out how to put them on here I will. If anyone can help with that please let me know. They played the Graduation song by Vitamin C at the end of prom and I almost started bawling.
Anyway. THIS WEEKEND IS ATF! I am so excited. I love ATF. We leave tomorrow at 4. Well, we have to be at church by 4, who knows when we will leave. It’s in Philly this year not Baltimore. That makes me sad. I am so used to it being in Baltimore and there is more to do there. Usually we get out of school but parents didn’t want their kids walking around a mall in Philly for a long period of time. So…yeah. Brendan is coming. I went out to dinner with Mike and Beth last week and Mike asked if Brendan was coming and I said I don’t think so and he said that he thinks he should. On Sunday I asked Mike the cost and he said 50 and Brendan and I are both trying to save money so I knew that would be an issue. My parents would pay anyway because they never let me pay for things like this but Brendan’s parents don’t really support him so I talked to Mike about it at church and he was like, “He will be able to go.” And he told me to e-mail him this week so Sunday night I e-mailed him and said that I put both of our names down as going but I don’t think Brendan can go due to the cost and Mike replied with, “His 50 dollars has been taking care of. Someone paid for him but they would like to remain anonymous. Wow. I was so shocked. I kind of think it was Mike and he didn’t want to say anything so that Brendan wouldn’t feel weird about it but I think he would have told me. I dunno. I’m just so thankful.
Next weekend is another busy weekend. Friday around dinner time the senior class leaves for Hershey Park. We’re doing an all knighted. There is a place to rest if you want to but I love rides so I dunno if I will. I’m so excited. I think we get back around like 5 in the morning on Saturday and then in the afternoon on Saturday I have to go to church because it’s the carwash for the Trinidad trip. I am going to be so tired. I’m excited, though.
Okay. I have to go. It’s late and I have a busy weekend. Bye!
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[ May 5th, 2006 | 4:28pm ] |
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Proms tonight! I’m so nervous. Excited too but mostly nervous. And kind of sad at the same time. This is the last major thing the Senior class will ever do together, besides graduation, but still. Anyway. My hairs all done now I’m just waiting around to start getting ready. My hair appointment was at 1:00 so I was done by 2:00 so I had a lot of extra time. Amanda and Alli and Brendan should be here around 4:30. Were all just going in Amanda’s car. We were too poor to afford a limo, ha. But I’m pretty excited. I’m more excited for after prom actually. It’s just going to be the four of us hanging out and maybe Amanda’s boyfriend. Amanda didn’t really want her boyfriend coming. He is 21 and he’s really shy so she didn’t want to have to worry about him being too shy and not having fun so they both decided that he wouldn’t go. He didn’t really want to go I don’t think. But it should be a fun time. Okay. Time to go. Bye!
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[ April 25th, 2006 | 10:32pm ] |
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I need to ask for some prayers, for those of you who are the praying type. I don’t really want to go into details but I just need some prayers. It’s nothing serious.
Anyway. I was thinking today in terms of jobs. I need to do some job searching because the job I have now isn’t giving me enough hours and it’s not enough pay especially for a car. So I was thinking maybe if there was any part time missionary work I could do or something I the church since I wouldn’t be able to travel like a missionary. So, I e-mailed Mike to ask him if he knew of anything out there or in the church that I could do because a girl from my church, Katie, worked at the church and did stuff, I forget what. It got something back saying that Mike received/read my e-mail but I haven’t gotten a response yet. So, I don’t know if he is looking for something that would help me or seeing what there is at the church, I don’t know. I just hope he doesn’t forget, though. He tends to do that. Not on purpose but he just get caught up in his work and then forgets about it. So, I don’t know. Maybe tomorrow…? If I don’t get a response in a few days maybe I’ll remind him or just say something at church on Sunday.
I am so in love with Brendan. Words cannot express. I have never felt this way toward any guy. He is like no other guy I have ever met/dated. He is understanding and he doesn’t push me into things I am not ready for and…I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I just love him so much! - :)
I got my my IPod back. Well, it's a Digital Audio Player. I had to send it back because it kept freezing and I couldn't download songs from Wal-Mart and I should have been able to but now it's back and it's working well.
Okay, that’s all for tonight. I am exhausted. Had a long, boring day at work so I am off to bed. Nite.
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[ April 23rd, 2006 | 10:31pm ] |
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I hate this. I hate having trust issues. I hate thinking that someone I love and respect and has been a huge influence in my live isn’t who I think they are. It kills me. And it’s not like anything has been said about them it’s just…I don’t know. Well, maybe one thing was said about them. I wish I didn’t have these trust issues. It’s because I look up to them so much and I love and respect them so much that I’m always worried that I’m going to be disappointed by them or find out that they aren’t who you think they are. Ugh, I hate this. :/
And to add to this great feeling I feel like I am getting sick. My throat is killing me and I am stuffy and I just have that feeling of getting sick, ya know? Ugh. I hope I am not getting strep. That would suck so bad. And my stomach wound is killing me from my dirt bike accident. Basically I feel like crap all around.
And I am a little annoyed with my rents. They are going away this weekend and I though for sure that they were going to let me stay home alone but while we were in the car today I asked and they said they hadn’t really thought about it and they would get back to me with an answer. Come on now! Seriously! I am 19 I think I am capable of staying home alone one night. There only going to be gone one night. They treat me like a child and I am so sick of it.
Alright. I need to go. I am tired and I feel sick and Brendan is going to be calling soon. Nite.
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[ April 17th, 2006 | 11:00pm ] |
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Wow, it’s been awhile.
I haven’t really been on the computer in awhile. I’m on just to check e-mail and that’s about it. I go on AOL every now and then but that’s about it. And it doesn’t help that the computer died over the weekend so I couldn’t go on at all. Brendan and I had nothing to do tonight so I was like, “Lets go upstairs and see if the computer will turn on.” And it did. It kept saying that the computer had low disk space in disk C so I deleted a bunch of songs from LimeWire that I didn’t what/didn’t even want and that helped a lot.
Oh yeah. I spent about from 8:30-12 midnight in the emergency room on Sunday. It all started when I tried to ride Brendan’s dirt bike. Yeah, you’re all probably thinking, “Oh brother.” So, I got on the bike and Brendan told me that the gas was touchy. To get the car to go you had to turn the handle like on a motorcycle. So I did that and it went and then I guess I got scared so I clutched onto the handle and turned it more and that made it go faster. I could hear Brendan yell, “Let go of the gas!” I went down the little hill in his back yard and I went into the air and the bike went to the ground and I fell on top of it and my stomach landed right on the metal foot bar and ripped my stomach up pretty good. My right leg was cut up pretty good and bruised up and my left leg had a big bum/bruise on it. After I settled down Brendan helped me in the house and I laid on the couch. I started bawling cause I was so afraid to tell my parents. Brendan called my parents and they came down and after about 10 min my mom said that she wanted me to go to the emergency room just to make sure there was no internal bleeding because my stomach was bleeding and bruised and very swollen. We didn’t wait long in the waiting room but I had to drink these two huge cups of…ugh, I don’t even know what it was, before I got my cat scan [which made me sick this morning]. I had two hours to do that. The test came back showing that I have to internal bleeding. It was really need though. The doctor was talking to us about what church we went to and we started talking about the missions trip I am going on and then he asked the name of our church because there is a nurse that he wanted to get going to church. So, I kind of think that maybe God had all this happen to maybe help that nurse out. Dunno, just a thought. But yeah, that was a fun night. I am so sore now, though. The doctor said that I would be really sore today and probably for awhile. He gave me a note for three days off of school/work. I don’t have to use all three days but I don’t think I will be going to school tomorrow. My left shoulder is killing me cause I got my tetanus shot [if that’s how you spell it. That shot thing you get so that if you get scraped on a rusty nail you won’t get sick or, whatever] So, yeah I’m ah hurttin. :/
Not much else is new. Brendan and I are doing great. OHH! I am going to be an aunt! I am so excited. My sister had been trying and trying to get pregnant and now she finally is! There thinking that maybe its twins. I AM SO EXCITED! There saying December for the birth month. They didn’t really what a December baby but right now they will take anything. :)
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[ March 19th, 2006 | 11:25pm ] |
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It’s time for an update.
Thursday was my birthday. I turned 19. Nothing special. I was actually kind of disappointed with the whole day. I dunno, birthdays just aren’t as exciting anymore. The school day was just another day. I mean it was nice to have people say “Happy Birthday” a million times but…I don’t know. My, rents, sister, Brendan and I went to the Olive Garden [ yum]. But other then that it was…blah. The Saturday before my birthday my rents took me on a shopping spree so that was pretty much my birthday present. Not complaining at all. I’d much rather do that, honestly. I don’t know what to ask for anymore. On my birthday they gave me one extra little thing which was a, I forget what it’s called, but I can connect it to my IPod thing when I’m in the car so that I can listen to the music from my IPod in the car. Today we had the family birthday party. My sisters, aunt, and uncle’s birthday is also in March so we just did everyone today. It was fun. Brendan gave me my gift today. He gave me a promise ring! I could not believe it. He told me to close my eyes and put my hand out and then he slipped it on my finger. I didn’t know what to say. He was getting all teary eyed and then I got all teary eyed. He was like, “This is to let you know that I promise to always be there for you.” Oh my gosh I love that boy. I have never, ever felt this way. I am so deeply in love with him it’s unbelievable. Sigh.
Anyway. I am so excited for the mission’s trip to Trinidad. Last Sunday we had a meeting with the “Team meeting” We talked about the cost, times, and our jobs that we will be doing down there. Then toward the end of the meeting Mike brought up that they were thinking that he and Beth might stay down an extra few days for some vacation. The people that are setting this up for us invited them to stay down with them an extra few days and it turned out that my mom got two free tickets [my mom works for a travel agent and is doing all the travel stuff for this trip] but the thing is they wouldn’t be able to use the tickets on the day that we are scheduled to come back. Why I don’t know. So anyway, he was just asking to see if that was okay with the parents because they wouldn’t be flying back with the rest of us so there would only be two adults flying home with us which would be fine because the church said that there can only be 7 kids to 1 adult which that’s what it would be. But the parents kept thinking up all theses horrible things that would go wrong and I finally just spoke up and said, “I need to say something. I personally thing that Mike and Beth should be able to take those few extra days. They disserve it. They have done so much for us with working up this whole trip and I think that is opportunity is a gift for them for all of their hard work. There are two free tickets and they can’t be used the day we are scheduled to come back. I think that is God trying to give them a gift for all that they have done and I believe that God will watch over us while we are in the airport. I don’t think he will let anything go wrong.” That was it. Then it got all quiet. Then I was like, “Okay, now it’s quiet and I’m embarrassed.” Then everyone laughed and that was it. I was just so…angry. It’s like they didn’t have any fait in God or in Mike and Beth. I mean, I can understand where they are coming from, worrying about the safety of their children but…I don’t know. I just hope everything works out.
I’m so happy. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday of this week Seniors don’t have to go in till later. I have A lunch so I don’t have to go in till 11:15 but others have to go in I think that like 10:40 or something. And then the following we are scheduled to go in late too much they are thinking we might not need that day but they aren’t sure yet. It’s so nice to be able to sleep in, though.
Okay. That’s enough. I’m gonna go watch some TV and fall a sleep. Nite!
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[ March 6th, 2006 | 9:33pm ] |
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I love him so much it scares me sometimes. With what happened when I was younger and the trust issues I never thought I would be able to feel about someone the way I do with Brendan. And it scares me because I’m falling in love with him full force and I can’t stop it. Not that I want to stop it but…I don’t know. It’s just so weird. A good weird but…I don’t know. I honestly think that he may be the one and that’s such a great feeling. He takes my breath away, every time I see him. I love being with him and when we are apart for even just a little bit I miss him. Don’t get me wrong, I like having my space but…I just love being with him. This feeling is just so exciting. He as helped show me that it’s okay to trust. I have people in my life that I trust with everything but with a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship he has showed me it’s okay to trust and I can’t thank him enough for that. And before I would be afraid to show my feelings in fear that they would just be thrown around but I don’t feel that way at all with him. Sigh! I love that boy… I am in love with that boy! :)
Okay, I have to go. That boy that I love so much couldn’t pay his car insurance so therefore he can’t drive so I am going to go pick him up from work soon. Bye!
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[ February 28th, 2006 | 8:39pm ] |
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Whoa! I would say it’s time for an update.
I got baptized on Sunday. It was…amazing. I was so nervous. I was shaking while I was sitting and waiting. Brendan was holding my hand saying, “It’s okay. You’ll be okay baby.” I’m so glad I did it. Then when I was done he kept saying how proud he was of me. :) I was just so afraid that I would slip while I was going down but I didn’t. I was like holding on to Mike’s hand for dear life while going down, ha. His poor hand. But, all went well. I have him a hug after the service and just said thanks for everything he had done for me over the years. I seriously would not be as far as I am in life without him. He has helped me through so much crap. I am so thankful for that man.
Anyway. I was just talking to Amie [girl from church] on line and she talked me into Bible Study tomorrow night. It’s at 7 and I have a doctor’s appointment at 8 so I might have to leave a bit early. I tried to call Mike around 8 just to let him know that I am going and to make sure it was okay that I would have to leave about 10 min early but he didn’t pick up. So, if he doesn’t call back tonight I’ll call the church tomorrow after school and ask for him. I’m excited about getting back into Bible Study. I think I need it. And I think some of the people there are going on the Trinidad trip this summer so why not get to know them now. :) Speaking of the Trinidad trip I’m raising money through my church. I talked to my assistant principle Mr. Bellittiere and he said during the lunches he could make an announcement saying that I need to raise money for a trip that I am going on this summer to help kids and help pain around the community. We can’t say that it’s a mission’s trip because of it being public school. But it was cool to talk to him about religion and to see how much we have in common and…yeah, it was just cool. He is a great man. So much better than last years assistant principle. She was such a troll, ha. So yeah. And my aunt and grandmother are going to sponsor me and my mom is going to ask some people at her work and then I am doing something at school so, I should be good. I just hope it all works out. I am so excited. A little nervous about the flight but I’ll just have to take some sleeping pills.
Annnyway. Brendan and I are doing great. For Valentines Day [I know, I’m a little late] he came to my house while I was at work and put rose petals on the floor outside of my room and on my floor in my room and on my bed where there was a dozen roses and there were balloons tied to my bed and there was this beautiful bracelet. He is such a sweetheart. I love him so much. He is such a beautiful person.
I’m going car shopping soon. I think after church on Sunday we’re going to go look. I’m saving up all the money I can. I put in a bunch of applications at places. As much as I enjoy where I work, they aren’t giving me enough hours at all. Last week I had three days. Two days during the week and then Saturday. That’s better than usual. Sometimes it is just one day during the week and then Saturday. This week I only work Thursday and Friday. Not even Saturday, what the heck is up with that? I always work Saturday’s. I would like three days during the week and Saturday. And I need to work full time during the summer but that’s not going to happen at where I work now. So yeah, I need money for a car. My mom and dad are going to help pay and all that and I pay monthly. We were going to wait till like April or May but we might have to buy sooner because when I work at 5 my dad can’t always be home to give me his car and I can’t always depend on Brendan either so…I’m gonna need a car sooner. I wanted black Jetta or any Jetta but I’m not sure if that’s gonna happen.
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[ February 13th, 2006 | 10:02pm ] |
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Feeling This [your smile fades in the summer] - Bling 182 |
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Whoa! It’s been awhile.
Didn’t get baptized Sunday due to the snow. I texted Mike while I was at work on Saturday and asked if church was canceled if the baptism would be next Sunday so he called and I had to like hide behind the register so the manager didn’t see me and he said that it defiantly wouldn’t be next Sunday because he wouldn’t be there and some of the people who where getting baptized wouldn’t be there, I forget why. While I was out Pastor Bruce called and said he was shooting for the 26th. So, I dunno. I have to call him tomorrow and say that’s okay. And if it’s good for the rest of the people then that’s when we’ll do it. So, I dunno.
My older dog Floyd had a seizure on Saturday. It was so scary. I was sleeping and I woke up to my dad yelling, “Floyd, Floyd, Floyd!” He was shaking and having convulsions. So, my dad came up to put Sydney in my room and I asked what was going on and he was like, “Something is wrong with Floyd,” then shut the door. So like 20 min later he came back up and said that he thinks Floyd had a seizure. So I went down to see him and he was lying down and there was like foam coming out of his mouth, just two long strings. My dad said to go up to him slowly because he was confused. I let him sniff my finger and then he was fine. I hugged him and started bawling. He gave me kisses, which made me cry even harder. My dad called the vet and she said to bring him in. They said it was either epilepsy or a neurological problem or maybe this would be his first and last seizure, which I hope it is. They said if he does have another one that we have to time it and keep his head still but don’t get close to his mouth because he might bite you and not know. He is completely fine now. I like don’t yell at him at all now. Like if he misbehaves I don’t care I am just so glad that he is alive. He is my baby. :/ I don’t want him to leave. Okay, don’t want to think about this.
Tomorrow is Valentines Day! I’m so excited. Brendan and I aren’t exchanging gifts till Friday because he needs to wait for some reason. I was asking him to give hints because he wouldn’t tell anyone what it was. So, he pointed to a water vending machine and said it’s as big as that as a hole. What the heck? And he said it started with a “B” No clue. He said he might give me a little something tomorrow but he wouldn’t give me any hints. I’m excited. Eeeek. We were talking tonight, actually like 10 min ago, and I forget exactly what we were talking about but he was like, “You were the first girl I said I love you to.” I was speechless. He is so adorable. I love him so much! Saturday was 3 months. :) Yay.
Okay. I need sleep. I dunno how much I’ll be posting. I’m getting kind of bored with the whole LJ thing. I just like to read other people’s and it doesn’t seem like people have much interest in mine so I might just update here and there and just read other people’s so don’t delete me, please.
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[ February 3rd, 2006 | 10:38pm ] |
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Having my license is so nice. Even though I don’t have my own car [yet]. It’s so nice to drive alone. I’m not all paranoid and I feel free! I had a doctors appointment which is near my church and that’s about 20 to about 25 min away so, so far that is my furthest drive alone. At first I was a little nervous then about 5 min into it I was enjoying it. Turned on some music and just enjoyed myself.
Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster. In chorus we had a fire drill and on our way back in David, Steph, Amanda, and I were all kidding around and David said something that upset me and I took personal so I was a little upset. Amanda asked what was wrong but I just said nothing. So, we were leaving chorus Amanda kept poking me on the arm and the first time I asked her politely to stop but she didn’t. I don’t know if she didn’t hear me or if she just didn’t think I was serious. So, she kept it up and then I said, “Please stop touching me.” And she gave me…a weird look and said, “Why?” And I told her it was irritating me and she gave me a nasty look and said, “Well it wouldn’t irritate me.” And I though, well hmm, I’m not you am I? But I didn’t say that because I didn’t want to start anything. So she then says, “Look, I don’t know what is wrong but you don’t have to f***in take it out on me!” Whoa! I defiantly didn’t do anything but ask you to stop tapping me. You ignored me the first time so I asked you again. You knew I was already in an irritable mood so that’s on you. I just looked at her and said, “You’ve got to be f***in kidding me and just walked away. Then, I was on the verge or tears. So, I held it in until I saw Brendan. He was saying something and looked up and was like, “Baby, what’s wrong.” And then the tears came. He took me to the side of the hall and I just bawled in his arms. I don’t know what came over me. Usually stuff like what happened with Amanda and David would upset me but not to the extent of tears. I was just so emotional. I told Brendan I wanted to go down to Miss. Gobel’s [now Mrs. Owens. I’m used to calling her Gobel]. She is like a sister to me. So, Brendan went into her room and said that I wanted to talk to her. She came out and put her arms around me and I started to cry even harder. She told Brendan to go back to class but I could tell he didn’t want to. After I calmed down I went into the bathroom to fix my mascara. Went back to Mrs. Owens room and she said that Brendan called her room from his class room to see if I was okay. I love that boy. :) So, I got out of math class. :) I wrote down what happened and what I was feeling. That’s our thing. I usually write to her because I get things out better that way. So, I either e-mail her or just write her a note and give it to her in school then we talk. I love her. She calls me “sista”. Lol.
Supposedly Brendan has something special planned for me. He was over for dinner last night and so was my sister. After dinner I was cleaning up and Angie and Brendan were out in the Family Room talking and I asked him what they were talking about and he said that it was a surprise and that he didn’t even tell her. He didn’t tell anyone, not even his sister. And won’t tell me anything. I asked if it was for Valentines Day and he wouldn’t even tell me that. So, don’t know. :) I’m excited. I love him. Oh! And he said that he is going to college around here instead of going to Georgia. That made me so happy!
A lady called from Global Missions today. When I was at ATF last year I filled out a slip saying that I was interested in going on a missions trip so they were calling about that. The two that I was interested in were the on in New York and Mexico. I would choose one. And, I am going to Trinidad with my youth group. So, with both trips I would need to save 2,000-some dollars. Minus whatever I raise but everything else will be my own money. My rents will help if I need it but I would really like to do this on my own. The only thing is both the New York trip and the New York trip are when I am going to the beach so I either have to choose another trip or just settle for just Trinidad. So, I don’t know. I texted Mike about it and were going to talk about it Sunday. Maybe I could raise some money through my church for the extra mission’s trip. The lady is calling back Tuesday. The sooner I decide the better. But, when she called and as we talked I just felt like it was God telling me to step up and that this is my chace to make him proud, ya know? So, I would really like to do this. I even talked to her about possible working for Global Missions, which would be awesome! So, maybe this call wasn't just about a missions trip but also my future.
I was supposed to work tonight but they had too many people. I even had a feeling that I wouldn’t be working tonight. I went in and I was in the back room looking at next weeks schedule and Sara was like, “You work tonight? I already have Lea here till close and Dan in fabrics.” So I got sent home. Nice they let me know when I got there. Mary Jo made the schedule for this week so I guess Sara didn’t know. Even though I called work last night asking for another W2 form and told her that I worked tonight so she could have said something then, unless she didn’t look at the schedule. I don’t know. Oh well. So, the rents and I went out to dinner with Angie and Kevin then they came back here and we played Uno [I think that’s how you spell it] with the machine that spits out the cards. They just went home a little while ago. Didn’t do anything with Brendan tonight. I called him before I left work but it was busy then I called about 10min after that and he just left. He called when I was out to dinner just to call I guess. He was out with his friend Tyler. I guess I’ll see him tomorrow. :) – I love him.
I seriously have never felt this way about any guy before. I really feel like I can open up around him and not have to be scared. I was always so afraid of being hurt but he has shown me that I can trust him. He has strengthened my capability to trust people. Of course I still have that guard which will probably always be there but he has helped me bring it down a bit. Sigh. I love him so much. :)
I have absolutely no energy lately. I am exhausted and just…dead. My mom noticed that my eyes are dilated. Like, something is weird. I don’t know.
Whoa. That was a long entry. I’m done. I am beat. Nite.
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[ January 29th, 2006 | 4:07pm ] |
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Guess who got their license! ME! I am so, so happy. I was so nervous. Saturday I was a little jittery and today I was a nervous wreck! I felt like I was going to throw up. But once I got in the car with Mrs. Morgan (driving teacher) I was fine. We had a nice little conversation so it wasn’t like awkward silence. It only took about 40 min. Actually maybe only 30-35min. We drove around for about 25min for practice then we drive back to the school and she got her papers ready then we started the test. We only drove around for about 5min. It was easy. No parallel parking or three point turns. None of that. I mean, of course I will have to learn how to parallel park but I didn’t have to worry about that for the test. I have practiced some.
Okay. I need to go. Just wanted to share the good news.
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[ January 28th, 2006 | 11:46pm ] |
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I’m so nervous I could throw up! Tomorrow at two I go for my license test. I am so scared. The nice thing is that the first half hour is just practice and the last half hour is the actual test. So, I have a half hour to screw up and have it not count, ha. Kidding. I hope. No, I think I will pass. I have been told she is really easy but I don’t want to be too comfortable. Ugh. Wish me luck.
I forget if it was earlier this week or later last week but a boy who is in the Jr. High died. He was only thirteen. He was on the buss either on the way to a basketball game or coming home from it and he started to have a seizure. I guess he had problems with seizures. His twin brother was there on the buss with him and held him while he died. How said is that. One of his best friends caught him when he fell. I couldn’t imagine how his twin must feel. Yesterday at the first basketball since he passed away they had a little ceremony for him. Alli went and she said the whole team was crying and his family was there and his twin was just like numb to it all. To the point of beyond tears. That’s just so sad. He was only thirteen! He had so much more to do in life. I can’t imagine what their family must be going through.
Okay. I should get to bed. I have church early tomorrow. Ugh, and I am helping with Jr. Church. Blah. It’s with Karli so it’s usually fun. I enjoy kids but tomorrow I am going to be on edge until I get that license test over with. :/
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